


late mania (and other tales)

by translevi



Category: Bully (Video Games)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Medication, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Polyamory, Sharing a Bed, Trans Male Character, gary isn't okay mentally, ill fill up this ship tag myself if i have to, these two guys sure do love their asshole sometimes-boyfriend, trans jimmy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-01-31 08:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12678504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/translevi/pseuds/translevi
Summary: Gary’s still talking. He’s pacing, and talking. At 2 am, on a Wednesday.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> garys grandparents paid to rebuild the gym so hes back in school after a vacation in happy volts

Gary’s still talking. He’s pacing, and talking. At 2 am, on a Wednesday. Jimmy has six hours left, six precious hours before his alarm will start screaming at him and he’ll have to crawl out of bed to face the horrors of the education system. But for now, it’s 2 am, he’s exhausted, and Gary is manic.

His brain started shutting off a while ago, what Gary’s saying _might_ be important, but when he was in moods like this it was hard to follow along even when he was making sense. Petey is up too, exhausted and drooping, leaning just a _bit_ too far to the side before jerking back up, shaking his head and re-focussing tired eyes on Gary.

He’s talking back at times, but either what Gary’s saying bowls over him or Gary just plain doesn’t have the time to slow down and respond to him.

Jimmy had stopped trying to follow what Gary said last year, even before the whole _‘take over the school’_ mess. Next school year, with Gary un-expelled and back in, he still can’t follow him.

His foot bounces, laying back on his bed sprawled out and simply watching for the time behind, arms crossed under his head. Petey’s got his pillow currently, holding it in his arms with his legs wrapped around it.

It might calm him down, he’s not sure. He’ll think about it tomorrow if he remembers.

Gary’s shaking, badly. Still grinning, still talking, still scheming, but Jimmy’s willing to bet money he hasn’t slept in a few days.

He can see Petey biting his lip, worrying it red, trying to interject.

Jimmy’s also willing to bet money that the only thing Gary’s had in the past 24-hours is caffeine. His head lolls back and his eyes close. He’s been fading in and out of consciousness for awhile, waiting for Gary to tire himself out and go to bed before he really committed to being comfortable.

His back hurts, his chest hurts, his arms ache, and his knuckles are still scabbing over under the bandages. He really just wanted to sleep.

He wakes back up a little later. Gary’s voice is still going off, still talking, but there’s a weight against him that wasn’t there before. His eyes hurt when they open - why is his light still on? - _3:36 am_ his clock informs him unhelpfully as he looks to his left. Petey’s there, head on Jimmy’s pillow and vaguely nuzzled into his side. He’s still awake, still trying to help Gary. All three of them are going to die tomorrow if he doesn’t do something now.

“Alright.” He groans, sitting up and ignoring the way his head whirls before throwing his legs over the side of the bed. Petey, startles and perks up, watching him.

Gary stops, just for a few seconds, twisting to meet his gaze. Something is on his tongue, some retort or snappy comment or another but he doesn’t manage get that far as Jimmy wraps his arm around him, hoisting the skinny teen up and over his shoulder without any effort. He stops talking for just a moment, a few blissful moments of silence before he starts kicking and yelling, _demanding_ to be put down.

Jimmy puts him down. In bed.

As soon as his hands are off him, Gary bolts, but Jimmy’s been through this enough times to know exactly what he’s going to do and how he’s going to try to get away. He doesn't bother taking off his binder tonight, he’ll just sleep in it, practically already has. So Jimmy flops in bed with him, wrapping his arm around him and locking him in place.

Gary reacts as positively to that as you would expect him to.

He’s already exhausted himself, and Jimmy doesn’t even care about whoever sits in the room next to them that bangs on the walls, yelling at them to keep it down. Petey apologizes, turning pleading exhausted eyes towards both of them while Jimmy continues wrestling Gary down.

He runs out of breath eventually, tiring himself out and laying there limp in his arms.

Jimmy closes his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. Petey is still shifting around the room, turning off the light _finally_ and getting in bed. He can hear fabric rustling before Petey joins them, bringing the throw with him and doing his best to spread the blanket out over all 3 of them.

Gary is still panting to his right but slowly he calms down, and as soon as the last bit of fight leaves him he’s out.

Jimmy’s too tired to move anymore, just leaves his arm where it is holding him and lets Petey maneuver the other as he likes. Tomorrow’s going to be hell for him, he’s running on nothing as it is, and unlike Gary, he can’t survive on coffee fumes. He should have kicked them both out hours ago, took off his binder, changed, and laid down for as much of a night’s rest as he could get.

But he didn’t, wouldn’t in the future either. Gary may be an asshole, but he’s their asshole. And they’ll be damned if they leave him to fester and panic on his own.

 

They wake up the next morning to the shrill scream of an alarm clock, Petey’s groan, Jimmy’s frothy, indiscriminate cursing, and Gary falling out of bed.


	2. punch me hard before you go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of a fist connects with something and then he’s on the ground.

At first, he isn’t sure what happens. He shouldn’t have been fucking with the jocks, not when everyone was still so suspicious about him, but Petey should have know he’d start shit when they had shoved into him. Gary was as an asshole, but he was an asshole that loved Petey, dammit.

He can’t even remember what he said, but it got both of them on him, advancing and yelling and Petey was back again, trying to break it up before Gary pushed him right on back behind him. He can hear knuckles crack and then a jock spits  _ “I’m gonna bust yo’ gut up and watch you bleed” _ and wonders if the school nurse is ready for his apparent upcoming date with the bed in there.

The sound of a fist connects with  _ something _ and then he’s on the ground, but there’s no blooming split of pain on his face that tells him  _ ‘yes you, asshole, you got punched’ _ in fact, the sound just escalates and then there’s  _ yelling _ .

There’s always yelling at Bullworth always something, loud, stupid, and annoying. Something, this time, that sounds suspiciously like:  _ “don’t FUCKING touch them” - _ But he recognizes  _ that _ yelling, and when his world finally realigns itself - with Petey on the ground next to him making sure he’s alright and already one of the jocks dropping - he see’s Jimmy.

His mind is still catching up when the other one drops, but Jimmy isn’t done there. No, he’s a special brand of moron, far more special than Gary had originally thought.

“Now don’t you two ladies have something to say?” Not towards him and Petey, to the two jocks on the ground, one of which he was grinding the face of into the pavement.

Twin groans become quick cries of apologizes and Jimmy, victorious in the worst of ways, grins and spits “That’s what I thought.”

He’s by their side then, back when he belongs, a split lip and bruise already blossoming under his eye and something in his heart  _ bumps _ around because of course  _ Gary _ would take a serious hit for Petey - not that he’d ever tell him that - and maybe go and get help for Jimmy, but he didn’t ever stop to think that Jimmy would do the same for him.

He’s the worst kind of moron, Gary decides, neglecting to tell him that. It would ruin the mood, but he thinks it  _ very _ heavily as he takes Jimmy’s outstretched hand, letting him pull him back onto his feet with Petey following soon after, already fussing.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Jimmy doesn’t look back, he never looks back, doesn’t see someone sneaking up on him or about to betray him until he’s in the ring of it. He seems fine living like that, doesn’t have a problem spitting and pounding people into the ground. In fact, really, he likes it, and Gary’s fine with that so long as he’s not the one getting thrown off of a roof again.

Jimmy is the  _ worst _ kind of moron his mind echoes and he knows he’s going to be thinking it for the next few  _ while _ because once his mind clings to something it doesn’t stop until it’s worn the concept thin picking it apart.

“I didn’t need your help  _ James _ , I had the situation under control.”

Last year he would have gotten an eye-roll, this year Jimmy knocks their shoulders together while they walk, with Petey darting ahead and up the main stairs to grab a cold can of soda to press against Jimmy’s bruise because he  _ never _ goes to the nurse’s office unless he’s unconscious and being dragged.

This year, Jimmy knows it’s as much of a thank you as he will ever get from Gary in the day.

Petey comes back, drink in  hand, they sit down on the benches, overlooking the crowd. Petey is still prodding just slightly about the nurse, probably will go over Jimmy with his first-aide kit when they get back to the dorm. Gary will sit for a bit, maybe think in front of the t.v. maybe throw himself into Jimmy’s room already, laughing and planning. Jimmy will do whatever he feels like, just like he always does with no set goal in mind.

He’ll let Petey do what he needs to do to feel calm, might even help him count his breaths if he gets really worked up. And then he’ll let Gary pace, even through the floor in his room is starting to show wear from his very specific, repeated pattern. And then when it’s too late and he can’t sleep and he’ll  _ never _ ask for help, Jimmy will pick him up, slam him into bed, and make him go to sleep. He’ll fight, he has to fight, it’s part of who they are. Jimmy never notices and doesn’t seemingly care, even when he  _ doesn’t _ actually want to sleep. Because Jimmy is the worst kind of moron.

The kind that cares.


	3. kings and queens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then Gary comes back, and nobody’s quite sure what to do with him.

Jimmy is the King. There’s no doubt about that around school. If there’s a problem, you go to Jimmy, if there’s a turf war, someone tells Jimmy. He runs the school and he walks the town like it owes him a living. Men and women alike swoon for him, and that’s how he likes it. King of the school and self-proclaimed president of the “bi and bored” club. - one that he ran with Zoe - things were generally guaranteed to work out for him during his last few years of school.

He’s not a benevolent King by any means, but by his own statement “he only gives people what they have coming to them”. If a problem can’t be fixed with his brawn, then he’ll get someone who can fix it with their brains.

Enter Petey.

His official title - by the school’s account, anyway - was “head boy” but the rest of the school just tended to call him Jimmy’s “Queen”. It had flustered him originally, head spinning and normally immediately u-turning and walking away from whoever had pointed it out. It’s not wrong though, is it?

Always by his side, Petey had stuck with him through the entire  _Gary-Incident_ and Jimmy was the first to jump to defend the smaller teen. The greaser’s especially know a King and a Queen when they see one, nodding towards Johnny and Lola whenever they appeared. And once a slip of a tongue had Petey’s ‘Queen’ titled spreading to the preps, and then the nerds, and then the jocks, and then the _girls_ , and then it was all over school.

Jimmy takes it in stride as he does most things, holding open doors for Petey and loudly proclaiming “After you, my Queen” much to Petey’s embarrassed distress, to just wrapping his arm around him whenever possible.

If you can’t find Jimmy, find Petey.

If you can’t find Petey, find Jimmy.

The school re-arranges itself accordingly - its high-school, everything hinges on hierarchy - and so Petey gets bumped up to the top along with Jimmy, reigning King and Queen of Bullworth Academy.

And then Gary comes back, and nobody’s quite sure what to do with him.

He lingers around the edges, slowly piecing his way back into things, but the Queen, in all his benevolent grace, reaches out his hand and pulls him back into the center.

The school re-configures itself again, messing with someone close to the Queen in the King’s eyes is as bad as messing with Petey himself. And although Jimmy glares daggers at Gary, he still comes running when Petey yells for him.

It’s all the girls talk about anymore, comments made behind hands and whispers in the hallways. Lola, used to the spotlight, reaches out as well, pressing up against Gary’s side and buddying up in the way that only she can get away with. Nobody knows what they talk about, but Gary seeks her company more often than not while she schools him in the responsibilities of school royalty.

Somewhere along the line Jimmy and Gary spend more than 10 minutes around each other without trying to bite each other’s heads off and the school at large wonders what to do about that.

Then Mandy sees Jimmy bringing Gary lunch, Christy gossips about how _Gary_ doesn’t own a grey Bullworth hoodie but _Jimmy_ does, Pinky spreads word about seeing all three of them together at the Diner in Old Bullworth Vale, and then nobody really knows what to do about any of them.

The cliques wait with baited breath as the days stretch on and _on_ while the girls wait like packs of ravenous dogs, eager for any scrap of gossip they can get. Lola carries herself with the same air of indifference she always does, smiling at Zoe’s side and flashing something more vicious to any girls that come to her for info on the school’s least favorite sociopath.

All three of them meet in the hallway, unconcerned by the public around them. Petey’s getting books from his locker - _normal_ \- Jimmy is standing by waiting - _normal_ \- and Gary is propped against the wall of lockers, making a comment that Petey rolls his eyes to. Before the incident last year - _normal._

Gary teases Petey - also _normal_ \- running his fingers through his hair and laughing when Petey swatted him away. Lola’s blush makes an audible snap as she shuts the container.

King? The school wonders simultaneously as Gary slaps his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. Everyone leans forward in their seats.

Jimmy snorts, bumping his shoulder into Gary’s and reaching behind him to do _something_ they can’t see. Gary reacts all the same, slapping his arm away and growling, all teeth. Playful.

Lola bats her eyes as the school decides, _no, Queen._

And that settles that.

Gary gets bumped back up to the top, where he had wanted to be all along - although, under different circumstances - and he rules the school all the same, all teeth and poking and prodding and _viciousness._ One thing that’s changed; whenever he gets too much now, although he is still as wild and untamed as he was before his previous expulsion, he has both a Queen and a King to reign him in.

Very suddenly, it makes sense for Petey and Lola to have taken him back in first.


	4. the food isnt the only thing that's salty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is grounds for divorce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the internet is out at my house so i wrote this entirely on my phone at 2 am, if the format is fucked up, that's why
> 
> i cant respond to comments right now but i really appreciate all of them!!

“You fight like Bucky runs.”

Gary jerks to a stop, whirling around to face Jimmy with an expression of disbelief.

“I-- _what_.” He repeats, blinking very slowly, trying to make sure he heard right.

Jimmy swallows the bit of apple he had been chewing, the definition of casual as he stands by the lunch table.

“You,” He repeats, taking another bite and staring him down. “fight like Bucky runs.”

The way in question being an arms flailing mess. Gary’s jaw drops, gasping in mock outrage. Petey is still biting into his sandwich, looking back and forth between the two of them.

Jimmy, looking all too eager to get into it with Gary, continues. “It’s like you don’t know what to do with your arms. You’re punching, sure, but your arms look like fucking wet noodles.”

The rest of the cafeteria had fallen silent at that point, watching the king and the queen get into another lover’s quarrel.

“Language.” Petey chimes, staying out of it aside from that. He’s in a world big enough for him and his sandwich, and that’s it.

“Sorry.” Jimmy says around a mouthful of apple, elegant king that he is.

Gary is beyond insulted, everything he’s ever known about Jimmy is wrong.

This is grounds for divorce.

“Yeah?” And he stands up, slamming his hands on the table and pointing at Jimmy, jamming his finger into his chest. “Well you--”

_‘Kicked my ass? kicked the school’s ass? Would probably kick your own ass if given the chance?’_

He blanks, Jimmy knows how to fight, he really can’t insult him for his fighting style.

“I’m…?” Jimmy drawls, arms crossing, raising an eyebrow at him.

The sound of a camera flash goes off. Christy grins, already planning her article for the school newspaper.

“ _Ffffuck_ you.” Gary finishes strongly, crossing his own arms to copy Jimmy’s pose.

Petey rolls his eyes, “Language.”

Gary, unlike Jimmy, completely ignores him. “Petey!” He snaps, sitting back down suddenly and leaning closer to him. “Did you hear what he said about me? Could I get a little back-up here, _friend_?”

Petey looks away from him, turning on the seat, the sandwich is his forbidden lover of the day.

“Dude.” Jimmy begins, grin stretching his face. - Gary scowls, he knows he won't like what comes out of his mouth next - “Petey punches harder than you.”

Petey chokes, doubling over and Gary shoots back up, yelling _“how dare you”_ and stepping away from the table to get up in Jimmy’s face, jabbing his finger into his chest and hissing. “Petey wishes he could fight as well as me.”

“No, I don--”

“Quiet, Petey.” Gary cuts him off.

Jimmy, used to the antics of his bitter queen, remains strong in the face of danger. The doghouse is imminent.

“Petey,” Jimmy begins, taking another bite of the apple to piss Gary off more - Gary’s eye twitches, scowl deepening - before holding up his own finger, counting off. “Attends gym regularly,” _Gary doesn’t,_ “Eats 3 meals a day,” _Gary really doesn’t,_ “And frankly, I think he weighs more than you.”

Somewhere, Petey is far far away, enjoying a lovely cruise with his sandwich, miles away from Gary and Jimmy, scornful lovers of Bullworth Academy.

“Petey doesn’t even fight!” It’s a last ditch effort to preserve his dignity.

“But of he did, he has a better chance of winning since he's not a bendy twig.”

It’s official, he’s divorcing Jimmy. They’ll work out joint custody of Petey.

“He’s kinda right, you know.”

Gary whirls around, meeting Zoe’s even stare with his own. Lola is at her side, hiding a grin behind her hand, he’s been betrayed by everyone - again.

Gary steps back, throwing his hands up in the air. Like that, he walks away, storming past Jimmy up the stairs out of the cafeteria.

Jimmy flashes a grin at Zoe and Petey, who wink and groan respectively before he turns, dropping the apple core in the trash and running out of the cafeteria to chase after his salty queen.

Petey sighs, already planning when he was going to fit knocking their heads together into his busy schedule.

“Boys will be boys.” Lola hums, resting her head against Zoe’s shoulder.

“More like boys will be dumbasses.” Zoe snorts, fingers tapping against the table as she turns her attention to Petey. “You gonna go after them?”

Petey looks up slowly, politely swallowing his mouthful of food before looking at her, eyes holding the long-suffering patience of a saint. “Nah, fuck ‘em.”

The cafeteria explodes while Zoe throws her head back and howls with laughter. Gary isn’t Jimmy’s only salty queen, apparently.

 

The next day, the reigning king and queens read the school paper together, following an outsider's perspective of their _“epic lover’s quarrel.”_

“I look so bad in that picture,” Gary mourns, yanking it out of Petey’s hand, scrunching it up and turning to him and Jimmy with a heartbroken expression. “It doesn’t even show my scar!”

Their eyes roll, and Jimmy just sighs, picking up his and Gary’s book bag and slinging them both over his shoulder before heading for the dorm exit, leaving Petey to wrangle Gary.

“My hero.” Gary drawls when they both catch up, and all it takes is the sight of Christy pulling out her camera in his peripheral before he sing-songs _“smile for the camera, Jimmy-boy!”_ and plants a kiss on his cheek.

 

The _next_ -next day, Jimmy throws the paper at a cackling Gary, abandoning him in the dorm and opting to carry Petey’s bag instead. Gary’s still laughing when he catches up with both of them on the main steps, Jimmy takes his book bag without him asking, easily supporting the weight of all 3 despite Petey’s offer to take his bag back.

He still holds the door open for them, Petey - kind - thanks him; Gary - a shithead - struts past and into the school like he owns the place. Christy already has her camera out and Gary zones in on Petey, ready to commit to his next elaborate act of fucking with both of them.

Jimmy beats him to it when he slaps him on the ass in full view of the majority of their school. Gary’s surprised yelp and Jimmy’s rancorous laughter drowns out the ever-haunting sound of a camera flashing. Petey abandons his book bag with Jimmy, power walking away. Maybe if he pretends he doesn’t know them, they’ll leave him alone.

They catch up with him eventually, Gary still bright red and Jimmy still grinning like Christmas came early.

“What am I going to do with you two?” Petey sighs, musing aloud and holding back a grin as they flank him.

“Not sure, but whatever you’re doing now is working great, _my queen_.” Jimmy makes sure to include as much syrupy-seductive sounding bullshit as he can.

Gary, blissfully, is still silent - the disaster gay of Bullworth.

“Shut _up_ , Jimmy.” Petey laughs, no bite behind it as the bell for morning classes goes off.


	5. i never thought id tell them how scared i am of losing them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re not here - and they’re not coming. That’s fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's so hard to write hurt/comfort for these guys and keep gary in character  
> please pay attention to the new tags added!
> 
> thank you all for the comments and the continued support! i get nervous responding personally but i truly appreciate every single one of them!

The door slamming shut is fine. That’s all fine to Gary, Petey’s tear stained face and Jimmy’s violently blank expression is all fine. It’s fine that they both walked out of the dorm after an argument. His fingers dig into his arm, nails digging deep as his legs started to shake, slowly starting to give out on him. That’s all fine.

He stomps back to his own room, going through the motions of anger, even though he’s screaming internally. They left him again, just like he _knew_ they would. He _wants_ to throw something but he’s too dizzy to even _stand_ and he collapses on the floor, curling in on himself in the corner of his room. The bile rises and he forces it back, this is fine. He’ll just be alone again, he doesn’t need them after all.

“I can’t believe him…” Petey gasped, hands balled into fists. His tears had slowed but the whirlwind of emotions had not, leaving him without an outlet and festering angrily. The fight had been bad, it had to be. Petey had only walked away from Gary once before; when Jimmy was crawling out of the hole, bloody and outed. That had been the final straw then.

Jimmy, thankfully, doesn’t say anything, just continues leaning against the wall and watching Petey fester. He’ll intervene if it gets bad, or if he thinks Petey’s about to hurt himself, but letting him blow off steam never hurt.

It takes so much to get Petey angry, but he was now and it hurt, it always hurt when it came to Gary but it was _never_ this bad. Jimmy knew the feeling, knew the whirlwind of emotions that Gary brought forth. They loved him, both of them did, it would take so much for that to ever change, but they _are_ upset with them.

None of them go to each other the next day, Gary does not press up against their sides - all too close, cocky - while Petey and Jimmy do not go back to him - surrounding, poking and prodding - the school picks up on it and gives them space for once, only bothering when absolutely necessary. The classes shared together are tense and biology, a favored class by Gary, goes by unexpectedly easy, since he’s not there after all. The two exchanged a worried glance, Petey more-so than Jimmy.

Petey was easiest to read out of the three of them, he said what he meant and meant what he said, his words - when scathing - hurt the most when they were directed towards others; because you know he truly and deeply meant every single word.

Jimmy is not as easy to read, despite how straightforward he was, his emotions were not that simple. Jimmy, as a concept, was a _lot_ , he felt a lot, he did a lot, he pushed a lot; emotions for him were best presented with his fists slamming into something. His quiet was a violence all of it’s own nature, when Gary insulted his mother on the roof, he tackled him off of it. Now he does nothing, and Gary almost prefers when Jimmy would fight him - at least _then_ he could understand his response.

Gary is his own maze of emotions, turning corner after corner and finding dead-end after dead-end, how he really felt was mangled and hidden deep within his own mania and ambition. If he didn’t have to see his emotions, then that might they didn’t exist; Gary was more than fine with that.

It grated anyone else - anyone who _couldn’t_ bear the wild eyes and the shaking, the plotting, the _scheming_ , all some grand scheme to cover up-- _what?_ Jimmy and Petey know, deep down that Gary cares for them - they do - which is why they stand by his side so easily, because out of all the people in the school that Gary could have chosen to want on his side, he picked the _“girliest boy in school”_ and the _“psychotic new kid”._ A year ago he would tell you it was for his plan, now he would smirk and flash a look of more _vicious_ intensity, but for now he was scared.

He hasn’t eaten since the fight 3 days ago, and he’s too scared to leave his room for coffee anymore. The fumes he’s running on are slowly running out. His meds remain unopened in his desk drawer, gathering dust and _taunting_ him with the memories of his promise to take them. His floor, already worn from his pacing, is slowly getting worse as he falls apart.

Jimmy would fix it, would slam him into bed and make him sleep. Petey would fix it, too, would leave him in Jimmy’s care and run off, coming back armed with food and the determination required to get him to swallow a stupid pill.

They’re not here still, between him avoiding both of them and their own cold shoulder when he got glimpses of them, they’re not here - and they’re not coming. That’s fine.

_(It’s not fine.)_

He breaks comes 2 am, shivering and remembering the fear of the year past, the terror, the times when he’d pass out from lack of sleep, lack of anything. He missed them then and he misses them now. Alone, always alone, he breaks when it’s too late for that broken seam to mean anything.

His sobs are quiet, they have to be in the dorm, a hiccuping gasp of air following a broken sound that seems to echo in his empty room. He had chased off his roommate years ago, and was never given a new one. That was helpful in times like this, times where everything he was - manic, ambitious, tired, strong, scared, _alone, always alone_ \- fell apart, leaving the aching body of a neglected child bare for the world to see.

He doesn’t know how to express love, his parents had left him with his grandparents when he was still a child and his _grandparents_ never wanted to pay attention to a wide-eyed child suffering through loss. He was too much; too much and not enough, always late but too early in the same breath, everything he is - a cracked mask worn too tight - is a mistake.

Out of everyone Gary knows, only Jimmy and Petey have enough of him to really hurt him, and it hurts.

The sob hitches higher and he can’t _breathe._

Jimmy stops, blinks once, twice, even thrice, looking to his right at Gary’s door. A late night bathroom trip revealed so much, it would seem. He swallowed hard, before continuing to his room.

Not to ignore Gary, to get Petey.

Petey, who blinks his eyes open, bags under his eyes prominent and eyes bloodshot.

“Gary’s crying.” Gets him up immediately, and he practically stumbles out of bed, still in his pajamas - both of them are, for that matter - and they go out together, socked feet padding softly against the carpet before they stilled outside the door.

It’s quiet for a minute, before the hitching gasp is enough to creep through the thin walls and the broken noise that follows sends both of them reeling.

“We shouldn’t have left him alone.” Petey says, voice cracking under the weight of guilt and everything else. His hands are shaking, grasping the hem of his shirt while Jimmy’s went for the door handle.

Locked. It’s always locked, but Jimmy hasn’t been expelled from seven schools for nothing, and one lock-pick later; the door was open. When they open the door, slowly, hesitantly - _guiltily_ , Gary, on the floor in a ball, curled up in the corner shaking. His hands in his hair pull, surely having ripped out strands by now, even his arms, scattered with bite marks. what they see hurts.

Petey’s hands shoot up to cover his mouth but even that can’t cover his gasp. Jimmy doesn’t respond outwardly, not yet, he’s still numbing himself to cope, but he knows it’s going to hurt once he feels enough to process it.

Gary froze, hands turning to claws weaved through his hair while his nails dug into his skull. He knows they’re here.

“Oh, Gary...” Petey whispered, breaking away from Jimmy’s side to run over to him. Jimmy follows slowly, shutting the door and relocking it before moving over to their side as well. Petey was already on his knees beside him, trying to coax him out of the defensive ball he had curled into.

Jimmy, slowly joins them on the floor, nerves creeping in through the ice that had coated him for the past few days. They did not handle this as well as they should have, they never should have walked away from him for as long as they did. Communication, Zoe always said, was important in a relationship. All three of them failed here.

A sob he had been holding back for _too_ long choked out and Petey, already on the verge of tears broke with it.

“I’m so sorry, Gary why didn’t you--?” That’s a question not worth asking, not worth finishing. Gary would never ask for help, would never show anything unless he could help it.

That’s what they know - _think_ , before Gary presses himself closer against the wall and gasps, _“I’m scared”_ voice broken with desperation and a building fear he hadn’t been able to tame.

That’s… something. That’s something; something that takes them off guard. Gary is a lot of things, wild and intense and closely guarded but never open. Now he is, so what have they done to him?

It reminds Jimmy of something else, when Gary - eyes wild with fear and mania - had screamed, _“You would have, if I’d given you the chance!”_ Jimmy made a mistake then, tackled him off a roof and beat him unconscious, he _won’t_ fuck up that badly now.

His voice is higher when he speaks, too tired to keep it deep as he did during the day. He will reward Gary’s vulnerability with his own “Of what?”

Petey, pulling Jimmy closer, stands to leave. He’s probably going for the first-aid kit in his room, but Gary’s hand shoots out, nails clawing into Petey’s wrist.

“You can’t leave.”

Petey freezes immediately, eyes wide and shocked. Gary’s grip isn’t strong enough to hold him, his nails might hurt but Gary is shaking and bloody and weak, a kid could knock him over right now.

“Okay.” He says, softly, slowly getting back on the floor with the both of them. “I won’t leave.”

The laugh Gary lets out startled both of them, cruel and vacant at the same time.

“Everyone always-- _always_ leaves.”

Petey and Jimmy exchanged a look, they fucked this up badly.

“We won’t,” Petey’s taking over most of the talking, which is fine by Jimmy, god knows he’d just fuck this up worse. “I just need to get the kit your arms are still so…”

“You can’t leave.” Gary repeats, voice shaking.

“Why?” Jimmy says suddenly, eyes vacant.

“I need-- you, I…” Gary swallowed, hard, shaking violently. “I don’t know.”

His voice was barely above a whisper at the end, broken and scared, so small.

“You’re the only part of my life that actually makes me feel… good?”

Petey’s eyes widen a bit further, and Jimmy… Jimmy doesn’t know what to do.

“I don’t know what to do on my own I’m not-- I need…” He’s stumbling, shaking and thinking too fast for the words to come out but he’s trying, he’s trying so hard and they both know that. Gary’s strength means everything to him, and now he is shaking at their feet. Another weary sob spills out, and he nuzzles into his knees, getting snot all over his slacks. “I can’t lose you.”

They have to strain to hear him, inching closer, slowly putting their hands on him, trying to bring him out of this dark, dark hole.

“I’ll break-- I already broke-- _I am broken."_

Quiet becomes louder until it’s screaming, ripping out chunks of his hair and finally, _finally_ Jimmy spills out of the past, jerking into the present with the ferocity he was known for. His hands grab Gary by the wrists tight, wrenching his hands away from where they could do anymore damage and holding him.

“Gary.” The fire, the strength, it floods back and it pulls a reaction from Gary as well. He stills in the corner, what Jimmy says next will have to mean _something._

“You’re not broken.” Gary’s miles away, floating between the past and the present, shaking under ice cold eyes and the weight of loneliness. Fear.

“I’m not broken.” Jimmy’s spent his days in limbo, in a household too violent for someone so small.

“Petey’s not broken, we’re not broken.”

Petey edges closer, he would never understand the abuse, but he would love them all the same.

“We’re not leaving, not this time. This? Do you feel this?” As he speaks, one of his hands loosens the grip on Gary’s wrists, inching up to press his fingers between the empty spaces of Gary’s own. “That’s me. I’m right here.”

Petey’s fingers twice with Gary’s other hand, holding him firmly; a promise.

Jimmy let’s go of Gary’s other wrist, trusting Petey to stop Gary from hurting himself, before he gently cups Gary’s cheek and tilts his head up, finally revealing exhausted and bloodshot eyes, clouded with pain - both past and present.

“You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

It’s silent after that, Gary searching his eyes- _both_ of their eyes, trying to find something - _anything_ that would tell him what was going on, why these two who had seen him at his worst, still held onto him as if he were the best.

Jimmy doesn’t know what he finds, between his own determined gaze, and Petey’s soft and pleading ones, but whatever Gary finds; he melts.

Slowly, Gary, in all of his teeth and claws, his bitter hatred, the acid that dripped from his tongue, melts. He takes the time to sheathe his claws, to let down the walls he had built, brick by brick Jimmy and Petey press in, closer and closer until they can curl around him, shielding him from the world and the hardships it would bring.

Gary is a lot of things, but most importantly he is theirs, and they will protect him from whatever hurts him; including himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary is already jittery with excitement, twitchy and manic beside them both. Jimmy, calmer, yanks him back to his side, fingers still firmly intertwined with his.

They burst out of the boys dorm together, Jimmy yanking Gary along who in turn pulled Petey after them. They barely manage to dodge a prefect, too caught up in each other to pay attention to what was going on around them.

“Sorry!” Petey called behind them, already rounding the corner as the words left his lips, stumbling over his feet as he was dragged along. The three of them re-group around the main entrance gate, breathlessly falling into step aside each other. Gary is already jittery with excitement, twitchy and manic beside them both. Jimmy, calmer, yanks him back to his side, fingers still firmly intertwined with his.

Petey smiled sweetly, taking a few steps just a bit faster to match Jimmy’s pace, taking his free hand. This would be the second time the three of them had ventured into town today, for widely different reasons. The first had been an early morning coffee run, one that Gary was still hyper from  _ hours _ later, now it was for dinner. Specifically; a dinner date.

“I hope it’s not busy.” Petey said, peering around Jimmy’s back to get his eyes on Gary, mother-henning both of his boyfriends was a talent Petey had perfected.

“Those rich kids wouldn’t bother with a small place like that.” Jimmy responded, tugging Gary back to his side again when he shifted just a bit too close to the road.

He isn’t talking, a rare occurrence in itself, but he’s undoubtedly thinking. He always is. For some reason, the manic, hyper-active one of the three is the one setting the walking speed, and as Gary’s excitement peaked, so did their speed.

“Gary, please--” Petey cut off with a yelp as both Jimmy  _ and _ Gary darted forward, darting across the road after checking for traffic. God forbid they use the  _ crosswalk _ .

The crashed through the door of the diner, a whirlwind of barely concealed excitement, talking and poking amongst themselves.

The diner was one that Petey and Jimmy had discovered during the summer Gary spent at happy volts, and once he was back in their lives, he was invited to join them. Afterwards it became a local spot for the three of them, one used frequently enough that the workers knew and remembered them.

Thankfully not busy like Petey had feared, they slid into their usual booth together, Jimmy and Petey on one side and Gary on the other. (No one could sit next to Gary because he twitched around too much.)

“I can’t believe we had to dissect  _ that _ today.”

“Please don’t talk about biology before we eat.” Petey groaned, going ignored by his boyfriends who proceeded to discuss whether or not the specimen would end up in Edna’s lunches.

“Now, now, James, the  _ specimen _ might actually be  _ edible. _ ” Gary grinned, fingers thrumming on the table while Jimmy’s face twisted into disgust.

Petey groaned, hands over his face. “Can we talk about something else,  _ please? _ I’m gonna lose my appetite…”

“Of course,” Gary replied, voice deceivingly sympathetic. “How about what  _ actually _ goes into Edna’s lunch.”

“Gary, I’m going to kill you.” Jimmy groaned, conceding defeat in this awful conversation.

Gary, awful, only laughed, still doing so when the waitress came by to confirm their orders. Only There really wasn’t much difference in their orders, Jimmy usually ordered the special or whatever was cheapest and Gary ordered the same thing every single time. Petey, however, actually looked at the rest of the menu, as opposed to his hooligan boyfriends.

While they’re waiting for their food, talking shifts to softer subjects; upcoming English tests, the latests rumors Christy was circulating, this and that around school. As they talked, Gary’s hand slowly pressed out more, fingers still strumming along the table as he very noticeably stretched his arm further out across the table.

Petey smiled, warm and sweet before resting his hand atop of Gary’s, taking the extremely unsubtle hint. Gary’s fingers stopped in their thrumming, face flushing slightly despite being the one to reach out originally.

Jimmy watched, grin stretching across his face as his boyfriend flustered, deciding to add to the mess. Some detail he actually paid attention to were the differences in their hands. His own was roughed, calloused fingers and bruised knuckles, normally sporting a band-aid somewhere (placed by Petey.) Petey’s hands were softer, more fleshy and the smallest of the three. Gary’s hands were thin and often skeletal, normally cold and the best at jabbing into your side.

He placed his hand across the other two, running his thumb across Gary’s knuckles.

The sunset is warm outside of the window, casting a soft glow across the table and them. Gary is a mess, pointedly staring out the window to avoid looking at where all three of their hands were linked. He wants something, gets it, and doesn’t know what to do with it when he gets it. He’s easily flustered. (Something that the other two take advantage of frequently.)

Petey turned to face him, flashing a smile and Jimmy took the moment offered to commit to memory the way the sun caught on him,  a bright illumination behind his head, dying sun-rays clinging to his hair.

Gary is also a sight, sun illuminating his jawline and catching both Jimmy and Petey’s attention. He’s still resolutely staring out the window, but he’s gone on the other side of the table, a stark contrast to his normal bouncing.

They remain like that until food arrives, separating hesitantly to make way for plates of food. Dinner between the three of them is always a mess, one that usually leads to fork jousting, snatching of fries, and Gary shredding at least three napkins to keep his fingers busy.

They refuse to learn history, and so they repeat it; Jimmy narrowly escapes Gary’s plate with his fingers in tact, victorious in his quest to steal a fry. Petey watches them both, gaze dancing back and forth between the two of them as he ate. Gary begins his latest assault on napkin kind and sticks his tongue out at Jimmy in response to Jimmy’s victorious grin and self-satisfied chomp on Gary’s stolen fry. Gary gets his revenge minutes later when he squirts ketchup onto Jimmy’s corn, getting a gasp of outrage in response.

Petey’s enjoying his food, eyes closed and savoring the taste when he hears a whispered hiss of  _ “En garde”  _ and opens his eyes to see Jimmy and Gary play-dueling with a fork and a knife, respectively. He’s running the risk of rolling his eyes right out of his head but Petey smiled all the same, taking a sip of his iced tea and watching his boys fool around.

They stumble and out of the diner together long after the sun had set, full and content, warm between the three of them.

“I definitely won.” Gary gloated, bickering back and forth with Jimmy. Petey used the distraction to his advantage, managing to  _ safely  _ herd both of them across the street over a crosswalk. It’s always peaceful out at night, with the street lights dancing across the water around the bridge and the bustle of the day passed. The breeze is nice in the summer and as always, his peace is interrupted by Gary. Gary’s not looking at him again, but he is poking him, jabbing his pinky against the flesh of Petey’s thumb. Petey grinned, something mischievous in his eyes as he took Gary’s hand, pressing right up against his side and looking up at him. Gary, not expecting  _ that _ much, started away right into Jimmy, who pressed up against him as Petey had. Jimmy’s grin is wide and shit-eating where Petey’s is sly and playful.

“I hate both of you.” Gary grumbled, staring at his feet and letting the other two pull him along to the dorms.

All three of them crawl into Jimmy’s bed later that night, shifting into position and curling around each other, tired but happy.


	7. i wouldn't mind it at all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Love is forever and that's what you mean to me."_

_“Do you think we’ll be like this forever?”_

It was something Petey had asked him months ago, pressed against his side in the chill of February following a night out for Valentines day. They had gone out out to dinner, saw a movie, and ended the night walking together along the boardwalk, sitting on one of the benches while Petey pointed out the constellations reflecting over the water before them.

Jimmy had shrugged then, and if he were asked now he’d do the same. Forever was a concept he had never learned to grasp, nothing could stay the same forever. Already, things had changed. Gary was back in their lives and picking and prodding for attention. That was different, but the same nonetheless.

First it was Petey and Gary, Petey who in a moment of quiet had asked Gary the same question one night so long ago, staring into the distance at the glowing lights of the carnival. Then it was the three of them, then it was just Petey and Jimmy. Zoe was there on occasion, flooding in and out, but she is not Gary, so it was never the same. Gary’s back again now, an eternity away from yesterday and forever gone from sight.

Petey is romantic at heart, likes a story with a happy ending flared with color and vibrancy, maybe that’s why he’s so drawn to Gary and Jimmy; Gary, who twists and waves like smoke, embers burning around him - not unlike Jimmy, whose emotions exploded with the intensity of a dying star. Petey wants a happy ending, and if any of the three in their group deserve such an impossibility - it’s him.

If Jimmy is fire, and Gary is smoke, then Petey is rain, he has to be - soft and warm, a gentle grace to the earth, or cold and sharp, drenching and drowning the world under it’s weight. He directly counters both of them, and perhaps that is why they work.

If they were all fire, they would burn. If they were all smoke, they would suffocate. If they were all water, they would drown. Together they are different, vicious, and whole.

Petey’s hand is soft in his, warm and gentle - like a summer rain. All 3 of them are on Jimmy’s bed, Gary asleep with his head in Petey’s lap, Petey with his fingers weaved in Gary’s hair and intertwined with Jimmy’s own. Jimmy _had_ been doing homework when they had both barged in, Petey smiling and hesitant and Gary grimacing in pain. Headaches were bad with Gary, one of the few times he’d willingly sleep to rid himself of it, what better place than in a boyfriend pile?

The graphite of the pencil had stained the fleshy bit of his thumb, rolling it around in his hand as he did. Jimmy had never been great at math, but with Beatrice and Petey’s help he was getting better - it’s just hard to focus when he can feel Petey’s pulse through his hand.

He’ll work on it more with Petey and Beatrice at lunch tomorrow, Zoe might even offer to help if she isn’t distracted by Lola. Right now, he just wants to focus on being with them.

His notebook and pencil is moved to his desk, hand mournfully pulling away from Petey to do so before he climbed back onto the bed, retaking the other’s hand when prompted.

Gary is still asleep, curled around himself and peaceful - rare all on it’s own. The mania dies from his face when he’s asleep, expression empty and tired. He looks off normally, but only when he is asleep can you truly pay attention to the heavy bags and the sunken look to his eyes. He’s been out of Happy Volts for 6 months now, but his body is still slow to recover from the ordeal. At least he doesn’t shake all the time anymore.

Jimmy’s still thinking about it when he settles closer, reaching over towards his lamp to click it off, sunlight streaming in through the half-closed blinds, setting the room in a warm haze. Jimmy’s hands are not gentle, so he doesn’t reach out like Petey does to touch and hold Gary in his sleep, instead he presses closer to Petey’s side, just watching. They can stay together like this for hours, have on multiple occasions, watching and lending much needed aid to their boyfriend. Gary needs help, better help than Jimmy can provide certainly, but he won’t find it in Bullworth. That’s thought for another day, thought for a time when he is alone and not warm at their sides.

“Forever is a long time.”

Petey looked to him, head tilting and cocking, curiosity a warm shade within his gaze. He smiles all the same, he would never turn down or mock a heart-felt thought.

“Yeah, it is.” He agreed, gaze shifting back down towards the mop of brown hair in his lap.

It’s silent for a few minutes afterwards, with Jimmy composing his thoughts and Petey letting him do so. Jimmy was a man of action, not a thinker.

“I don’t know about forever…” Jimmy continued after moments longer. Forever is scary to him, forever is… forever. The people in his life are not forever, his situation is not forever, his life so far had been a series of moments, stranded in eternity but passing by every time he blinked.

“Oh?” Petey hummed, his fingers slowly in their petting motions for just a moment before continuing. He probably knows what Jimmy’s talking about now, Petey’s good about translating  _“dumbass”_ into something intelligible.

“But,” Jimmy cuts him off before he begins, he doesn’t want Petey to get the wrong idea, to take the wrong thing from what he had managed to stumble out, tongue tied and wrong. “I wouldn’t…”

Gary shifts slightly, curling closer and nuzzling into Petey’s thigh, seeking comfort amidst his pain, always from them.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

His voice is soft when he finishes, reaching out to nervously chase a _first_ as he brushed Gary’s bangs to the side.

Emotions are hard for him, vulnerability frightens him, but Petey shifts just a bit to rest his head against Jimmy’s shoulder and Jimmy thinks that _maybe_ being vulnerable is okay sometimes, so long as he can keep this.

What wouldn’t he do to keep _this._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh!” Petey exclaims, ecstatic.

When Gary entered the boys’ dorm that night two things became shockingly clear to him in a matter of seconds. One, he had _not_ locked his door like had normally did; and two, _he was fucked_. Petey is in his room, sweet, innocent Peter Kowalski was in his room, holding his pink stuffed rabbit in hand. The stuffed rabbit that Gary had _stolen_ months prior.

Gary’s frozen in the doorway, eyes wide and horrified, heat steadily creeping up his face to stain it red. To make matters worse, said stuffed rabbit had been on the floor, stuffed in between his bed and the wall, right next to the _bear_ Jimmy had _won him_ a year or so prior at the carnival. The one that he had complained and whined about before deciding he was going to throw it out; now, lovingly worn and soft from nights spent holding it close. The stitching had ripped in one of the feet internally and the ears had _both_ been chewed on. To make _already_ awful matters worse, the ear on Petey’s rabbit had been chewed the same way.

Gary’s throat makes a noise, horror and shock coming out in something unintelligible gurgling. He’s already planning his escape to England - he can never return here - when Petey whips around, eyes bright and victorious with the most _shit eating_ grin on his face Gary’s ever seen.

Gary’s been caught _rabbit_ -handed and this the worst day of his life; second only to being thrown off a roof. So Gary does the only thing Gary _can_ do in this situation; he lies.

“It’s not yours.” It’s a desperate attempt to save face - but doesn’t that just make it worse?

“Oh!” Petey exclaims, ecstatic, grinning and brandishing his rabbit like a weapon. “So you bought _yourself_ a pink rabbit?”

Gary is good at digging himself into holes.

“Yes…”

And Petey _laughs_ , tears of mirth in his eyes as his arm drops back to his side, still clutching the rabbit. Gary _craves_ the sweet release of death.

“You went out,” Petey begins, and Gary already knows Petey will still be bringing this up 10, 20- _30_ years in the future. “Bought yourself a _pink_ bunny, with--”

Gary shrinks in on himself, blush reaching his ears as Petey fumbles with the rabbit, finding what he was looking for on the foot

“ _My_ name sewn onto it - in my mother’s handwriting!”

“Maybe.”

“You are so full of it!” Petey laughed, apparently delighting in Gary’s misery. His boyfriend is cruel and using unusual punishment. “And the bear--”

“Shut up, femme boy.” Gary hissed, head ducking between his shoulders, finally stepping into the room to shut the door behind him. If anything - Petey’s grin gets _worse_. He’s won, Gary can’t counter that. It’s worth the rest of their lives in blackmail material.

“Sure thing,” There’s that sly look in Petey’s eyes that Gary _hates_. _“Gar-bear.”_

It was a nickname Jimmy had started when he had passed the bear onto him way back when, strutting out of the prize tent holding the thing in his arms. Gary had protested, mortified, and downright refused to hold it at some points (it was half his size!) but Jimmy hadn’t cared, he had made his point. Gary had kept the fucking bear.

“I hate you so much.” Gary grumbled, staring resolutely at the floor as his back pressed up against his door, leaning against it. His body is fine; his ego is _not._

“Wait till I tell Jimmy.”

 _That_ gets his attention, head jerking up to look at Petey again, horrified.

“You wouldn’t dare.” He whispered, following Petey’s movements as he reached over and snatched the bear up.

“I wouldn’t what, _gar-bear?”_ Petey flaunted the bear at him, it was about 2/3rds his size. Which called attention to not _only_ how small Petey was, but how fucking _huge_ that bear was. The bear that-- oh dear god.

He had forgotten earlier, couldn’t see it as well shoved in the corner, but the _bear_ \- the imminent reason for his untimely demise - was in one of Jimmy’s shirts.

Petey drops the bear onto his bed and Gary’s soul leaves his body, someone call for the nurse, this is the end of him. He should have died on the roof, that would have been a more reputable way to go. Thrown off a roof vs. destroyed by his boyfriend; there’s an obvious winner here.

Petey, evidently not done fucking with him yet, _also_ drops the rabbit back onto the bed, evidently submitting ownership of it to Gary for the continued time being.

Gary’s trying to become one with the door, slouching against it as hard as he is, when Petey interrupts his internal monologue of regret and self loathing by coming closer. All attention is on him from that point, Gary making a feeble squeaking noise as Petey got into his personal space. Punches? Sure. Aggression? That’s fine. Insults? Safe territory. Love and compassion? Gary couldn’t handle that.

And yet here Petey was, smiling up at him so fondly and practically pinning him against the door. Gary can’t move, caught in a whirlwind of emotions that knocks him on his ass internally.

Petey’s hands go to his shoulders and Gary doesn’t even have time to appreciate Petey standing up on his toes to kiss him on the nose because the action in-itself _kills him_.

Here lies Gary Smith, murdered by his boyfriend. Tragic.

Gary all but _melts_ against the door, resuming his plan to become one with it as Petey pulled away, softness giving way to shit eating once again. Gary’s still firmly squashed against the door, no escape in sight.

“Gary… if you wanted him so badly, you could have just asked.”

“Shut up.” Gary snapped, his blush ruining the effect. “Just get out why are you in my room - that’s kinda creepy Petey.”

He can roll with that, starting to sneer. “What? Were you looking for some of my dirty laundry - hoping to find something good maybe?”

Petey gives him a look, and Gary knows he has about 5 seconds before Petey kills him again. That fire sparks and he grins, showing off his teeth.

“I don’t know Gary, did you like sniffing Jimmy’s shirt?” He cuts himself off with a laugh,  looking up at him through thin lashes. “Did that fuel your filthy little fantasies?”

Gary makes a noise that sounds _very_ similar to the mating call of a whale and just about collapsed, only catching Petey’s laugh and snarky comment of _“you’re one disturbed individual”_ before Petey moves and grabs the door knob, jerking the door open and stepping out of the way to send Gary to the floor, landing onto the emblem carpet. Petey _leaves_ him there, strutting out of his room with a renewed vigor while Gary’s brain attempted to catch up with the eternity of mortification he just went through in the span of _5 minutes_.

“Hey, Jimmy! You’re not gonna believe _this_.”

Gary paused, staring into the dead eyes of the skull on the emblem before _shrieking_ Petey’s name and shooting up off the floor to chase after him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's worth it.

He hates them.  Two pills in the morning, three at night. The regular pills are fine, small capsules, it’s the chalky ones he hates. The texture makes his skin crawl, he hates the taste - hates _everything_ about it, but he has to take his meds to be allowed back at Bullworth; has to take them to stay close to Petey and Jimmy.

The first pill goes down easy, the second one is always harder, and the chalky texture still makes his teeth grit hours later in  class. It’s worth it though, the weight of his head is heavy and he feels _so_ tired.

It’s worth it, Gary decides, later on. Worth it to see Petey smile at him, telling him _“good job”_ and to _“keep it up!”"_. It’s worth it, but it’s so hard.

His body feels sore all the time, he can’t even _think_ , so he forgets. Forgets his sleeping pill and realizes at 4 am on a school night, forgets the chalky ones ( _maybe_ on purpose), forgets which ones he took despite having just put the bottles down. It’s hard and he knows it’s the pills faults. He can’t let what happened last year happen again though.

“Did you take your pills today?” Jimmy is good at reminding him casually, he’s concentrated on the arcade machine in the boys’ dorm, eyes focused.

Gary just _growls_ , standing up from the couch to stomp back to his room. Fucking pills.

He’s glad Jimmy reminds him.

Petey shows up later that night, crawling into his bed and slowly pulling more of Gary’s covers away from him until he was without any covers at all.

 _“I’m doing this for you, y’know.”_ He thinks huffily, getting out of bed to takes his night pills. Petey gives him his blankets back when he gets back in bed, curling up against his chest and sighing softly. _This_ reminds him why it’s worth it.

“Pills?” Jimmy asked with a yawn, brushing his teeth at Gary’s side. Gary just groans, head dropping into his heads, still wet from washing his face.

“I hate them so much.” Gary sighed, rubbing at his temples before turning to head back downstairs.

Petey passes him a note in music class the next day, eyes trained on the blackboard and drinking in every word Miss Peters said. Nobody would ever catch Petey not paying attention, he was too good at it, even going as far as to _raise his hand_ to ask a _question_ , like he hadn’t just slipped Gary a piece of lined paper _(illustrated with little doodles!)_ asking if he had remembered his pills that morning. Gary waited just long enough for Petey to glance at him before sneering and throwing the note back at him once Miss Peters’ back had turned.

_‘Yes.’_

And then scribbled underneath in more scratchy handwriting.

_‘Are we going to the diner tonight after the carnival?’_

Miss Peters was busy writing out the next string of notes. Petey took that chance to toss the scrap of paper onto Jimmy’s desk, Gary’s question circled and underlined.

The unanimous decision is _‘yes'_.

He gets bad a few weeks later, snapping and twitchy. He’s losing his balance, nausea creeping in. He growls and hisses his way past Jimmy and Petey and the _worst_ part is he doesn’t realize what he’s doing until Jimmy’s hand is firm around his wrist, holding him back.

 _“Gary.”_  
  
“Get off me, James.” All bared teeth and snarls, eyes wild when they meet Jimmy’s gaze. Petey is at his side, looking displeased and concerned. Jimmy is calm, the eye of a storm.

“Are you taking your meds?”

And Gary freezes. He _knew_ he had been forgetting something. Genuinely, not like last time when he stopped taking them. Tests were kicking his ass and in the whirlwind of needing to _think_ he had just… forgotten.

He deflates, no longer defensive, not like last year when he would have loudly proclaimed that he’d stopped taking them. He needs them now - if only to stay close to them; and he’s pushing them away by _not_ taking them.

“No.” Gary says softly, eyes wide and trained on the floor, at his feet. “I didn’t… I forgot.”

“You forgot?” Jimmy asks, cautious. Last time Gary had stopped taking his meds had been bad, but that had been a multitude of things stacked on top of each other that had caused the catalyst that had been the hole.

Gary has no fight in him this time, he can’t walk straight and he’s _so_ tired, he can’t sleep. He can’t even remember the last time he had a full meal was.

He sighed, deep in his chest and rubbed at his eyes. “I’m…” It burns in his throat, chokes him. “Sorry.”

He can be better than last time.

 _That_ is all Jimmy and Petey need. Gary sleeps with them that night, taking his pills under watchful eyes before all 3 of them pile into Jimmy’s bed. It’s too small for all three of them, but that would never stop them. He takes his pills the next morning too. He’s trying but it’s _so_ hard.

Petey shows up later the next day after classes with Jimmy, waving an Easy Drugs’ _‘Twice-a-day Pillbox’_ around. Gary shoos them out of his room, setting it up while they lingered outside his door. He doesn’t say thanks outwardly - rarely does unless it’s sarcastic - but they both know anyways.

It _does_ help, helps even more when Petey gets his hands on it again, pressing stickers he’d hand out to the younger kids for doing something helpful around classes all around the clear plastic.

“Gee, _thanks_ femme-boy, gotta pretty up everything around you, don’t you?”

Petey scrunched up his nose, giving Gary just a split second of warning before he _jabbed_ his fingers into Gary’s side, making him _shriek_ , jerking away to stifle forced out laughter.

Of course Jimmy sees and once _he_ realizes that Gary’s ticklish it all goes downhill from there. Petey gets his revenge (although what Gary said hadn’t _actually_ bothered him) via a heavy ginger pinning their mutual boyfriend down and tickling him until he couldn’t breath.

It’s just a point of respect that Jimmy stays out of his room, they both know he can pick the lock at any time. Sometimes Jimmy skims that line.

When Gary gets back from his grandparents that night, weary and drained emotionally from the walk there and back  - _he doesn’t want to think about his grandparents, doesn’t want to think of that awful empty house_ \- all he wants to do is take his stupid pills and get in bed.

His pill box isn’t where he left it, and he knows immediately Jimmy had been in there. He’s not in the mood for whatever Jimmy might be trying to start, already cross as he is. He snatched the pill box up unnecessarily quickly, starting to pop open the remaining days. Sure it was probably Jimmy, but paranoia hisses _what if it wasn’t--_

And he stops. Someone _had_ been messing with his pills - that someone being Jimmy - but instead of taking anything _out_ he had put something in. Every remaining day held not only the pills required for the morning and night, but _also_ an individually wrapped starburst, one of Gary’s favorite candy.

The sour mood dies and warmth floods his chest, he can’t hold back the smile either way, sitting at the side of his bed and staring down at the container. He doesn’t want to think about his grandparents anymore tonight, or their big empty house, or his empty room within it. He’s going to stay at the boys’ dorm, with the people that _really_ love him.

He takes his pills as per usual, unwrapping and then popping the piece of candy in his mouth before getting up to go find Jimmy and Petey, he’s only got a bit left before the sleeping pill puts him out and he wants to make the most of it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is not a better day.

Gary remembers the asylum in flashes. It alternates between blurring together and overwhelming him. There’s a feeling at Happy Volts that doesn’t go away, and it clings to him even at Bullworth months later. There are lots of things, bleak silence where his own breath is loud gives way to screaming that rattles the iron and pounds around in his skull, shaking him out of his daze just long enough to make him want to beg to go back into it. He hates Happy Volts, hates the asylum, hates that he was sent there. 

He hates himself.

He responds to it still, responds to the sound of gates opening, people screaming, loud booming voices. He responds to it with a bubbling fear that gives way to panic if not dealt with, it immobilizes him completely. At least no one calls him pyscho to his face anymore, Jimmy had broken enough noses to stop that in it’s track. He and Petey can’t protect him from everything.

Petey can make sure he has food that he can eat; his stomach is too weak after being there so long to eat anything strong. Jimmy can make sure he gets rest, and together they can keep him functioning and taking his medication. Yet, some things are out of their control.

It’s after the last class of the day, it  _ had _ been normal, with Gary and Jimmy poking and teasing at each other while waiting on Petey. There’s a shift in the crowd and Gary’s  _ never _ been good about spacial awareness before someone shoves him against a locker and he freezes, metal jarring and sending a flash of pain through his back. It hurts, but the throb in his head comes from somewhere else, someone farther away. The metal is still rattling in his ears, wide eyes staring miles away at some unseen face that haunted him even in the measly hours of sleep he got each night. His boyfriends respond in kind.

Petey’s hands are gentle, appearing at the crucial moment like an angel from above. He’s always been the softer of the three, honey brown eyes alight with concern before he passes Gary off into Jimmy’s calloused hands. Jimmy leads Gary away, somewhere quiet and safe where no one will bother them for the rest of the day as Petey’s eyes shift from sweet to vicious, soft lips opening to allow acid to spill from his tongue, burning his victim alive - no one is allowed to hurt Gary and get away with it.

The lighthouse is a favored spot for the three of them, far away but never too far, with plenty of room and places to hide. On better days, they’ve spent all day in bed here, curled around each other just talking about anything that came to mind - maybe some people got kicked out of the bed ( _ Gary and Jimmy _ ) once or twice, but that’s just life isn’t it? Sometimes Petey would do his homework and laugh in time with the gentle rolling of waves against the shore, mixing with the electronic noises of the arcade machine. Jimmy maneuvers the hover car with a practiced ease, button pressing following the rhythm set by Gary’s tapping against the wood of the bar. They always moved in sync together, it was easy that way.

Today is not a better day.

Gary likes the top of the lighthouse, likes anywhere high up and quiet that he can be alone - the roof of school was a favored spot - but Jimmy can’t drag him up that many stairs in such a confined space. Gary’s walking on autopilot, and right now he needs to be safe. Jimmy starts on that while waiting for Petey, encouraging Gary to sit on the couch before rounding up every pillow and blanket he could find and dumping it on him. Petey shows up somewhere around that time, huffing with venom running down his lips. Jimmy steps back at that, he’s not gentle enough for delicate work like this.

Jimmy does get on the couch next to him, letting Gary cushion himself in a makeshift corner, pressed between the armrest and Jimmy. He curls in on himself, hiding. It’s something he does best.

Petey sets things up, making use of a few bar stools and a chair for the poker table, rearranging this and that until he’s content with the blanket fort they had erected. He crawls in then as well, half on the floor half in Jimmy’s lap on the couch, one hand curled lightly around Gary’s ankle.

Gary’s not out of it yet, still caught in something that makes him whimper, flinching despite no movement being made towards him. Petey and Jimmy exchange a look. It’s easier for Petey to deal with emotions, his home was loving and warm, always blossoming with activity and life - Jimmy’s home was non-existent, as were his emotions. His mask is on tight, and Petey is too open. The three of them together were a mixture of a boy who felt too much, a boy who felt too little, and a boy who felt nothing at all. What a group.

Gary’s stillness is unnatural, and it’s only when his legs start to shaking and his entire body starts to twitch around that they breathe a sigh of relief, a few minutes later and he starts rocking back and forth, and they know he’ll be okay. It takes awhile for Gary to calm himself down, always does when he goes to wherever he does. The static leaves his body and slowly,  _ carefully _ , he returns to them.

Petey changes position, moving off the floor to crawl onto the couch on the other side of Gary, pressing between him and the arm rest, smushing him further against Jimmy. Gary’s arm slowly wraps around him, and Petey presses up against his side, smiling at him in relief, Jimmy’s arm curls around Gary’s waist, fingers tucking comfortably in between Gary and Petey’s bodies. It can be hard in situations like this to tell where one ended and the other began, but they like it that way.

Gary’s other arm comes up, wrapping around Jimmy’s arm and pulling it tight against his chest, taking a shuddering breath before giving in to whatever emotions wanted him to feel them. He doesn’t talk about it and they don’t ask, he doesn’t  _ want _ to talk about his grandfather, or the asylum, or the  _ fear _ \- not yet, maybe one day, but not today. Tears don’t fall, they never fall when it’s light out, and they understand that.

Gary doesn’t deserve this -  _ he thinks _ \- doesn’t deserve love, but they give it to him anyway. A noise that is  _ not _ a sob spills from his lips, curling in on himself once more to hide his eyes. Together, they hold him while he falls apart.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knows when Gary would begin his latest assault on his good-will and patience.

_‘This was a terrible idea.’_ Petey decided firmly, glancing from the screen in front of them to his boyfriends to his right. To his immediate right was Jimmy, arms up on the backs of Petey’s and Gary’s seats, mainly still watching the movie playing. To _Jimmy’s_ right, however, was Gary. Gary who was taking up two seats, curled up in an awkward position with his legs over the armrest, and was throwing popcorn at the nerds sitting three rows down.

Bucky occasionally turned, squinting at them through the darkness to peer at their group, Jimmy was still watching the screen, Gary only grinned, and Petey just shot the most apologetic smile he could. They’ve already had to avoid one ban from this movie theater, and it’s the only one in town.

 _“Jimmy.”_ Petey hissed, nudging his elbow into his boyfriend’s side, waiting for him to look. Jimmy did eventually pull away from the screen, leaning in closer to hiss back.

_“What?”_

Petey sighed and jerked his head, indicating towards Jimmy’s other side.

His brow furrowed, Jimmy didn’t even have to fully look at Gary to see the problem, looking just in time to see a piece of popcorn go flying, bouncing off of Bucky’s head. Gary’s delighted snicker was all he needed to hear from that point on.

Jimmy would handle it, he can at least strongarm Gary into behaving.

It was still a terrible idea.

A few moments later the popcorn bucket was being thrust into Petey’s arms, startling him enough to almost drop it. Thankfully the popcorn supply had been depleted enough that none spilled out. His lips pursed and once again Petey found himself peering around Jimmy, catching sight of a sour looking Gary.

Petey smiled, popping a few pieces of popcorn in his mouth and curling up closer to Jimmy, taking the moment of relative peace to enjoy the movie. Who knows when Gary would begin his latest assault on his good-will and patience.

Somehow, by the grace of heaven, they get out of the movie without a permanent ban for all three of them. It’s a miracle.

Jimmy’s hand is warm in his own while they linger around the entrance, letting the sun beat down on them. Gary’s nearby, twitching and letting out all the jitters he had to hold back in the theater. Bucky gives him a look as he passes by. Petey once again smiles as apologetically as possible, waving to Beatrice when she spots him.

“Where to now?” Jimmy asks, squeezing his hand slightly. Petey smiles, they didn’t burn down the building so all-in-all, successful date.

Gary comes back to their sides, arms crossed with a grin stretched across his face, flashing his teeth maliciously. “A good question, James, where _are_ we going Petey?”

It’s all for show, both of them know that. Gary is just a snarky little shit.

“Hmm…” The three of them had romped over pretty much all of Bullworth at this point, the carnival was exhausted for the time being, and the worker in the dunk tank still glared at Gary whenever he passed by.

“Ice cream?”

Jimmy keeps an eye on both of them while they eat. They’re out on the boardwalk, sitting on one of the benches and staring out at the island in front of them. It’s a nice sound, the caw of seagulls and the soft sound of the water lapping at the beach. Gary’s feet tap against the wood, carefully digging his spoon into his ice cream. Jimmy is still sandwiched between both of them, distracted by something in the distance. He doesn’t start paying attention until a drop of cold ice cream lands on his hand, suddenly alerting him to the fact that it was melting.

Petey hid a smile behind his own cone, taking care with his strawberry. He was the only one that had thought to grab napkins - as usual. He’d give some to Jimmy afterwards, instead opting to watch him lick up the trails of chocolate that had spilled down the side of his cone.

Gary, thankfully, just had a cup for his ice cream. There was plenty experience in the past that told him if his hands got sticky he’d die.

Gary abandons the ice cream on the bench eventually, hopping up onto his feet to start pacing. Petey sighed and leaned back, looking content with the way the day had gone. This was definitely one of their better put together dates. Not like that one time. Dear god.

He had to take a moment, staring up into the blue sky above him, shades of orange starting to flitter in from the distance. They do not speak of that date.

“Hey, Petey.”

Petey perked up. “Yeah?”

Jimmy flashed a grin, before taking a bite out of his ice-cream.

“Jimmy please!” Petey groaned, looking away with a shudder. He could feel the cold running through his own teeth. Jimmy just laughed, still grinning at him when Petey looked back up.

“I don’t know how you do that… doesn’t it hurt?”

Jimmy shrugged, and that was the end of that conversation. Petey still gave him a look out of the corner of his eye, going back to eating his own eventually before Gary re-joined them on the bench.

His ice-cream had melted for the most part at that point, but that rarely bothered Gary - it was one of the reasons he got it in a cup.

 _‘My boyfriends are weird.’_ Petey thought, with absolute loving certainty, as Gary tipped back the cup and drank the last of his melted ice-cream.


	12. jimmy is very strong and his boyfriends are very gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a sickeningly sweet tone to his voice and Gary freezes.

“It’s not _that_ difficult.” Gary huffed, crossing his arms. Petey gave him a look, rolling his eyes before looking back.

They were at the carnival, all three of them-Gary, Jimmy, and Petey. Jimmy had wandered off briefly, weaving through the crowds of teenagers to go look at something, leaving Gary and Petey alone t o watch some townies struggle with the high striker.

Gary scoffed again, a smirk curling across his lips. “I bet I could do it easy.”

Petey rolled his eyes, he was used to what Gary got up to by this point. _‘But,’_ Petey thought, watching one of the townies fall backwards under the heavy weight of the mallet. _‘It would be funny.’_

Petey smiled, turning up his charm and looking up at Gary. He’s had many years to perfect his ‘innocent angel’ act, and he _knows_ how to get what he wants—especially from Gary.

“Why don’t you do it then?” There’s a sickeningly sweet tone to his voice and Gary freezes, he’s been called out on his shit and has to rise to the occasion.

 _“Please_ , Petey, like I’d waste my money in a dump like this.”

He already had, Gary had bought the tickets for all 3 of them. Petey bites his tongue on that response, instead shifting away from him. “Sounds to me like you’re scared.”

“I am not!” Gary snapped indignantly, promptly losing the argument.

Petey didn’t respond, just smiled still before cocking his head in the direction of the now free high striker game. Gary glared, at him, grabbing him by the arm with a growl of _“c’mon”_ before dragging him over to it.

“Here.” Gary snarled, shoving a dollar at Crystal before cracking his knuckles. “Hope you’re ready to eat your words little Petey.”

Petey grinned, stepping back to watch, if this was going to go the way he _thought_ it was.

Gary went to pick up the mallet, firmly grabbing the stick, confident smirk on his face. If Petey had been sitting, he would have been at the edge of his seat. Gary took a deep breath before pulling up and—nothing.

Gary stopped, blinking a few times before pulling back again, putting more effort into trying to lift the mallet up. It twitched once, sliding just a bit, but didn’t _actually_ leave the ground. Gary swallowed, a hot flash of red covering his face before he fixed his stance, pulling back harder. Crystal was trying not to laugh, hiding her mouth behind her hand. Petey was unashamed about his shit eating grin, watching Gary try and fail to pick the mallet up.

Gary eventually let go, stepping back while trying to fight down the blush on his cheeks, rounding accusingly on Crystal.

“You switched it with a heavier one!”

Crystal finally did laugh at that, this was the most pathetic display she had seen all day.

“Whatever you say big guy--”

Petey’s focus shifted from Gary and the high striker attendant to Jimmy.

“What did I miss?” He asked, trying to process the scene in front of them.

“Gary can’t pick up the mallet.” Petey giggled, jerking his head forward when Gary rounded on them.

“I could if she didn’t replace it with a _heavier_ one.”

Jimmy just rolled his eyes, stepping forward. Gary stepped back and crossed his arms, fuming and glaring at Jimmy. Jimmy exchanged a look with Crystal, who just shrugged and gestured towards the mallet.

Jimmy moved over to it, pushing up the sleeves on his biceps a bit more before grabbing the mallet and lifting it off the ground, letting the head rest on the strength sensor.

Gary was still fuming, foot tapping on the ground. “Go ahead, _James.”_

Petey _so_ wanted to see this.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, picking up the mallet and bringing it up over his head and behind him. Gary froze, eyes widening ever so slightly, breath caught in his throat. Petey had also stilled, unlike the townies before them, Jimmy did _not_ fall over.

_Muscles, so many muscles—how strong does he have to be to do that?—and his sleeves are showing everything--_

Jimmy slams the mallet back down, indicator shooting up and slamming into the bell with a loud ring.

“And we have a winner!” Crystal yelled, attracting the attention of several nearby kids. “C’mon folks! Step right up and test your strength, see if you can get it as high up as this guy!”

She handed the tickets to Jimmy a moment later, launching into another spiel as a few others stepped forward.

“Good job, Jimmy.” Petey laughed, suddenly feeling much more shy and nervous around him than he had a moment before. Gary didn’t say anything, just rejoined them as they turned to walk elsewhere, staring resolutely at the ground. The blush had moved up to his ears, and he had seemingly given up on hiding it.

“Where to now?” Jimmy asked, stretching his arms out before letting them fall again, waiting on Petey and Gary.

Petey bit his lip, glancing from Jimmy’s muscles to his face.

_The high striker, please._

“Wherever!”

* * *

 

Jimmy dodged back, arms still up in a defensive pose in front of him, shifting his weight back and forth on his feet.

“This isn’t fair.” Gary whined, eyes locked on the image of Jimmy in the boxing ring—more specifically; on Jimmy’s muscles.

All Petey did was nod in agreement, quickly wiping at his mouth to check for drool. This was _too_ much.

Jimmy boxed, it was a much safer alternative to random fights—and one that didn’t risk getting him in trouble—and a good way for him to let out steam. It was hell whenever his boyfriends dropped by.

Sure, Petey felt concern on seeing Jimmy fight, knowing how rough boxing matches could get but Jimmy was strong—so, _so_ strong—and how thankful he was that the outfit showed off his muscles greatly outweighed the concern. Jimmy was a big guy, he could handle himself.

The round ended and Jimmy separated from his opponent, heading back over to his corner where Gary and Petey were waiting.

“I’ll be out of here as soon as I finish with this guy.” Jimmy said, taking a swig from his water bottle while gesturing back towards _whoever_ was in the opposite corner, his boyfriends didn’t know and frankly they didn’t _care._

“Take as long as you want, Jimmy.” _Please._

Jimmy waved off Petey’s comment with a grin. “Nah,” He re-capped the water bottle, wiping a few stray drops from his lips. “I’ve kept you guys waiting long enough.”

The round starts again and Gary is vibrating in place trying to take in everything at once. He’s gay, he so gay, there is no straight explanation for anything Gary has ever done in his life.

It only takes a few punches for Jimmy to win, the round coming to a satisfactory end. Gary and Petey aren’t satisfied at all, please don’t let Jimmy ever cover up his arms.

Jimmy slips into the changing room while his boyfriends linger outside, taking a moment to recover from the heights they just ascended to.

“I’m so gay…” Petey mumbled under his breath, staring at the floor.

Gary just nodded slightly, staring ahead of him unseeing. “Yeah.”

“We’re so gay.”

“Yeah.”

Jimmy eventually left the changing room, stepping out in something that made Gary and Petey’s hearts stop.

“You guys ready to go?”

Petey just nodded, eyes wide. Gary was just staring at this point, Jimmy had already thrown him off a roof, he had nothing to lose anymore.

Jimmy walked by them, taking the lead as a smirk formed on his face.

He was wearing a fucking tank-top.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instead Gary stops, stamping his foot on the ground and grabbing at the strands of his hair.

It takes a lot for Jimmy to not be okay. Petey is open with his emotions, unashamed about tears that cloud his gaze or the intensity at which he cares; Gary isn’t as closed off, but he isn’t as open either. Gary shows his tears to few people—namely Jimmy and Petey—but only if he trusts them completely.

Jimmy doesn’t cry openly for anyone.

Fall is a hard time for him, and both of his boyfriends know to be prepared when he starts to pull away. He’s distant, cold, and quiet. The leaves change color and fall, drifting on the wind to blow over the bridge to touch the surface of the water lying underneath. A time of change, a time of death—slumber. A part of Jimmy dies every fall with it.

They’re better about it than they were Jimmy’s first year at bullworth, when it was taken the wrong way and weeks later Gary was throwing Jimmy into the hole, that had been a terrible misunderstanding and an even worse mistake.

_ “Or, maybe you’re all messed up because you came from a broken home?” _

Right on the money, that had been.

Jimmy’s always been sensitive, not to emotions or things like that, but smaller things; hands raised over someone’s head, yelling, people looming over him, the sound of glass shattering—little things they didn’t think about that put Jimmy on edge immediately. Jimmy isn’t around school much during fall.

He skips elsewhere, roaming the streets on his skateboard or sleeping in the lighthouse, it’s hard to keep track of him no matter how hard Gary and Petey try. It’s also very frustrating.

“What do we do?” Gary snapped, pacing a familiar worn trail in Petey’s room. It’s saturday afternoon, they hadn’t seen or heard of Jimmy since their last class together friday. Gary almost asks  _ ‘was he like this last year?’  _ but bites back that comment. He wasn’t here this time last year. That fall was spent in Happy Volts/

Petey knows Jimmy best in times like this, could count the times he had seen Jimmy well and truly fall apart on one hand.

“We wait.”

Petey’s voice is collected but wavering. He shifts on his bed, sitting and watching Gary pace, fingers twiddling. He needs to do something, needs to fidget to quell his anxiety. Bloody knuckles and damaged walls have told him time and time again that Jimmy hurting was destructive.

“He’ll be back monday.”

_ ‘What if he’s not?’ Remains unsaid. _

Instead Gary stops, stamping his foot on the ground and grabbing at the strands of his hair. “I can’t wait that long!”

He’s obsessive and fixated, Gary won’t be able to sleep until they find Jimmy, and Petey won’t be able to sleep till he knows his boyfriends are healthy and safe.

“Sometimes Jimmy just needs to be alone, Gary.” Petey explains gently, letting out a sigh as his gaze shifted from Gary to the visibly worn path in his floorboards.

“Well, Petey, maybe I need him to  _ not _ be alone, ever think about that?” Gary spits, venom rising high in his tone, an animal poised to strike. He’s scared.

The last time he was here for fall, during Jimmy’s first fateful year at Bullworth, he lost him—both of them. Gary’s own actions caused his downfall, but they weren’t entirely his fault, and Gary had not been the one to push his own hand. They all knew that now, knew that Gary  _ never _ would have if he hadn’t been lied to, but the fear remains. Gary cannot function when he’s alone.

Petey had seen mismatched dolls put together better than him, brow furrowing as his gaze hardened. They at least needed to try.

“Come on.”

Gary stills, deflating as fear crept back into him. Jimmy was the strong one—not him.

Petey makes his way towards the door, shoulders straight and hands balled into fists, it’s always Gary changing his mind or influencing his decisions.

He gets one foot out into the hallway before Gary is scampering to catch up, joining his side and falling into step next to him, they have a boyfriend to find.

It takes hours, but by their third check of the lighthouse, something is different. There are no lights on in the house itself, but something solid sits at the edge of the dock in front, a silhouette against the lights of the carnival far in the background.

Jimmy.

The ramp is loud under their collective footsteps, clambering up the ramp to dart the length of the dock. Jimmy doesn’t respond but that’s expected, their footsteps would have at least told him they were coming. They don’t want to scare him right now.

His legs dangle over the edge, a few inches over the gentle shift of the saltwater beneath. He’s staring at something, something they can’t see—something they never would. Rooms he can’t remember with colors he only finds in his darkest nightmares. Pain that never truly left.

They wanted to find him so badly, but they don’t know what to do now that they have.

Gary is anxious next to him, shifting his weight back and forth, he has never been good at understanding or helping other people, social situations are not his strong suit.

Petey is better, softer but hard enough to withstand both of them easily.

“Jimmy?”

Jimmy doesn’t respond immediately and Petey reaches out, hand hesitantly hovering over Jimmy’s shoulder, sometimes he cannot stand to be touched by anymore.

“Jimmy?” Petey repeats, just a little louder.

Finally, Jimmy reacts, shifting just a bit and coming back into where he is now, even if only for a moment. It’s then that Petey rests his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, sitting down over the edge of the dock with him. Jimmy’s fingers twitch and curl, but he doesn’t pull away, evenly meeting Petey’s gaze.

He hasn’t been crying or anything like that, Jimmy’s emotions expressed themself in different ways. His knuckles were stained with long dried blood, skin already scabbing over. It tells Petey and Gary all they need to know.

Gary takes the free spot to Jimmy’s right, sitting with his legs crossed under him and rocking back and forth slightly. He’s nervous still, but at least they found Jimmy.

“Are you okay?” Petey asked, holding Jimmy’s gaze, trying to look deep enough to see whatever it was that he could. All he sees are hazes of brown, heavy and tired under the weight of his past.

Jimmy shrugs, turning his gaze back forward to stare across the water. It doesn’t take long for that glazed look to come back, he’s not there with them, but he didn’t push them away either. They’ll take that.

Petey keeps his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, soon moving back to rub circles against his back—he has no idea how long Jimmy’s been wearing his binder, he’ll need to get him out of that before he hurts himself.

Gary rocks back and forth for a bit longer, nerves biting deep before slowly, he calms enough to lean to the left, resting his head against Jimmy’s shoulder. Jimmy doesn’t respond, but he doesn't push him away either.

Jimmy doesn’t cry, he can’t. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much he wants to, he can’t. Somehow, Petey and Gary understand that. They can’t make it stop hurting, can’t take the pain away from someone who would give his all to protect them, but they can be there for him.

Gary’s hand moves from his lap to Jimmy’s, finding his hand and grabbing tight, hoping for anything.

Jimmy squeezes back.


	14. dancing is the most fun a gary can have before taking his clothes off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Relax,” Jimmy laughed, placing his other hand on Gary’s hip. “Just follow my lead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to personally apologize for the title name  
> [song is here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ17Tm_qUIE)

There’s trashy music playing on the radio near them, something heavy and resonating from a channel Gary had never even heard of before now. Of course this is what Jimmy would listen to.

Any further thoughts are interrupted when Jimmy takes his hand, pulling him close. Gary still has an inch or so on Jimmy, but he felt small standing next time like this.

The look on Jimmy’s face isn’t helping either, a grin stretched across his face with an excited but teasing glint in his eyes.

Gary had tried valiantly, protesting and cringing away at every available opportunity, but Jimmy had won out in the end. He had cornered him in the beach house - where they were now - for one thing and one thing alone: a dance.

“Jimmy, I don’t know what I’m _doing._ ” Gary whined, gaze jumping back and forth between the other teen and his feet.

“Relax,” Jimmy laughed, placing his other hand on Gary’s hip. “Just follow my lead.”

Flushing but trusting, Gary placed his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, nails digging into the fabric slightly.

Jimmy doesn’t move them right away, and they both stand there for a minute, close and listening to the pull of the music before Jimmy hears whatever he was waiting for and pulled them both into the rhythm.

It’s stumbled at first on Gary’s end, feet tripping more than once with Jimmy catching him every time. The flush on Gary’s face only deepened as time passed, the motion that had started off as gentle gave way to something more feeling as Jimmy led him through the motions.

A different song was playing now, and it was only when Gary focussed enough to process the lyrics that he _truly_ began to understand how much he hated Jimmy.

 

 _“I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch a better fuck,_ _than any boy you'll ever meet”_

 

“Turn that off.” Gary hissed, embarrassment making him snappy, his gaze twitched around as if looking for someone hidden watching them.

Jimmy just laughed again, tightening his grip on Gary and pulling him closer to nip at his lip.

“Why? It’s true.”

The music speeds up before Gary can pull away and Jimmy’s hands both slip to Gary’s hips. Despite his earlier protest, Gary doesn’t do anything to stop Jimmy from pulling him into it, hips twirling in a sinful curve with Jimmy’s guidance.

Gary had always been bad about denying Jimmy anything he _really_ wanted, and with a breathless sigh, he gives.

Jimmy guides him through all of it, hands roaming Gary’s body and enticing him into moves that were more befitting of a _club_ than two teenagers screwing around on their own.

At some point, Gary lost track of how many songs they had spun through, focussing only on Jimmy and the way he held him, lips dancing dangerously close to Gary’s neck at times.

It finally ends when the radio breaks between songs for a commercial, and with the spell broken Gary stumbled away, breathless and burning.

His limbs feel staticy, energy coiled tight in his muscles that he can’t expel on his own. Gary’s hands curled and uncurled repeatedly, swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet before he whirled around again to face Jimmy.

He wants to do something, something with Jimmy, but he can’t do it on his own.

Fortunately, Jimmy knows him all too well.

He moves closer, and that first step is all it takes for Gary to throw himself at him, pressing their lips together in a searing kiss. Jimmy doesn’t waste any time, moving one hand under Gary’s thigh to hook Gary’s leg around his hip, pulling his boyfriend closer. Gary whined into the kiss, melting against him completely, content to let Jimmy do as he pleased with him.

They don’t separate until their lungs are screaming at them, but even then they don’t go far. Jimmy doesn’t want to let go of him, and Gary doesn’t want him to either until he _realizes_ what he’s just done with a start. He flushed up to his ears, pulling back and staring at the ground, hands moving to fix his vest from where Jimmy had messed it up - or maybe that was the dancing?

Gary chanced a glance up and immediately regretted it, quickly looking back down. Jimmy - stupid, awful, dumbass Jimmy - was standing there with the biggest shit eating grin on his face Gary had ever seen.

“Not a word, James.” He hissed, resolutely staring at his vest, pretending to continue straightening it

This only served to make the grin on Jimmy’s face widen. He hates Jimmy so much, he gave this man too much power.

“Why would I say anything when I can _do_ something instead.”

A stunning moment of clarity in which Gary remembered that there was a bed in here was all the time he had before Jimmy was back in his personal space, tilting his chin up to claim his lips again.

The music picks up again with something sultry and deep, a personal sign from God for him to live his best, gayest life. Gary had always been bad about denying himself anything he _really_ wanted. He let out a whine, grabbing Jimmy by the collar to pull him closer.

Gary hated constant noise, especially when he was trying to focus or sleep, but he didn’t mind the radio playing all night.


End file.
